i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
