Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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