have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
