you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
honey bunches of taint.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we should paint friendship bongs
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
