i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
a search helicopter?!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
