bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
