Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
