i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
