I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
