Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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