Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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