I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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