Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
