One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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