You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The adults are the big ones right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
