I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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