if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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