K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
