Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
