my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
