I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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