i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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