As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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