he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
