you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
