I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
