Someone shit on the floor
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
