I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
