Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
