high people should be assigned attendants
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize