I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
