ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
