Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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