her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
