Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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