a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
