He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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