so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
