so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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