oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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