Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
