Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
