he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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