what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
