I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
