You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
