i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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