Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize