Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
