It's Friday. Sex?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
