I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
