Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
