i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
