I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
