Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
