just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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