He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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