is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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