Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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