u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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