it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
