I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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