It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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