Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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