im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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