You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
