it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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