it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
