I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
