We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
