Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
